The Perfect Kismases
by Delelta
Summary: This is a link off of 'the sleep over' Even though you don't have to read it to get this. John devises a plot to get a peek at karkat and get an unexpected surprise.


Karkat ran his hands through his short ruffled hair. Leaning out of his window he watched his long lengthy friend run across the field and down a mountain top. He let out a long groan and sat up cracking his back. His room now felt empty but the air was thick and heavy. He couldn't help himself but to feel lonely that his friend was now gone. He had been hoping Gamzee would just spend the night; you just can't stop Gamzee though he supposed. A small 'bing' came from his closed crab top. He turned tiredly to face it. A few seconds later it binged again. He sat down in his wheeled chair and placed the crab top in his lap. When he opened up the computer he saw that John was trying to call him.  
Karkat frowned flashing his fangs. John was one of the humans that he hated but couldn't help but to talk too. John, from Karkat's knowledge, had never seen a troll. So before answering the call he peeled a black piece of duct tape off its worn out roll and placed it over the built in camera in the small electronic device.

With taking a breath to relax himself he answered John Egbert's webcam call. John's hair was slicked back in a ridiculous manner resembling a stereotype of a rich person. He winked, "Hello Kar!" The fake smugness in his voice reminded Karkat of Eridan.

"What do you think you're doing John?" Karkat demanded in a harsh tone. Karkat flipped off his webcam then peeled off the black tape. While he waited for John to respond while he used his long black nail to peel off the clear sticky residue left behind by the tape.

~At Johns home~

The webcam just switched off so he knew it was time for his plan to go into action. After many failed attempts to convince Karkat to show him his face John decided to make up a plan to see him to see his shy friend Karkat.

About a month ago he had an accidental run in with a 'hacker troll' of the name of Sollux. Sollux taught him a thing or two about troll computer systems. Surprisingly they were easier to maneuver than human computers. John clicked on a picture of a green ghoul for his new hacking program. It allowed him to get into a trolls pester chum and do whatever they wanted to with the trolls webcam. John chuckled evilly to himself and he enabled his hacker skills. His computer blacked out for a minute then to his delight Karkat came in his view.

Karkat had an angry look on his face; it matched his personality perfectly. His long, pointed, black figure nail clawed at the screen as he groaned frustrated. John giggled slightly watching the mix of emotions wash over his gray friends face. After he got over how Karkat struggled at the ooze left over on his camera a wave of shock came over him. Karkat had two short fangs that peeked out over his lips right in the front then he had two elongated ones nearest the outside of his mouth. His skin was a medium, sickly, gray shade. Under his deep red eyes were clouds of black indicating his lack of sleep. His cheeks had a light red tent to them and gave him a blushy feel. His hair was a mess and looked like it would do damage to a comb if you were to try and manage the mess. Through his jungle of hair poked out two candy corn like horns. All John would see was the yellow tip but he thought he could see a hint of orange as Karkat's hair swayed. Karkat was completely different than John could ever imagine. He was horribly beautiful. John could feel his face go pale as he released he was attracted to this alien.

"Hey fuckass." Karkat started out glaring at John, "What are you looking at?"

~BACK AT KARKAT'S~

John's eyes were focused on his computer screen and his skin was pale. Leaned back in his chair and frowned, "Hey ass hole I happen to be talking to you. Talk to me."

"Karkat you're so cute." John always said things like this jokingly but this time he seemed different. Karkat studied his face looking for some sort of fault. He closes his eyes and sighed annoyed with John's mockery. "Hey Karkat?"

Karkat rubbed his temples, "What is it John human?"

"What do your horns taste like?" Karkat snapped his eyes open at the screen instinctively grabbing his horns. Johns face has changed to slightly scared to a pure curiosity. It took a second to register but Karkat darted his eyes to his webcam. A small, un-noticed small green light was on; John could see him.

"John!" He screamed and scrambled for the track pad on the crab top.

"Karkat stop!" John put up his pasty hands to stop Karkat from stopping the call, "Beep beep meow!" John said in a last attempt the pull Karkat back.

Karkat froze and his right eye brow twitched displeased. He might be offended but it got Karkat to stop.

John spoke in a slower tone, "Karkat, I've already seen you. So just leave it…I think you look fine."

"You don't think that." Karkat said focusing his yellow eyes on John. The site was haunting and something that was hard to imagine even with a creative mind. The eyes grabbed him and pulled him in; soon he could no longer look away.

"I do mean it Karkat. I think you're cute." Red flush rose to Karkat's skin and he growled like a hesitant dog at the human, "Fine." He said defeated, " But if you piss me off this is the last time. And I will hang up on you." Karkat moved his mouse over the hang up button just for quick emergencies.

John didn't take his eyes off of Karkat for a second, it was starting to make Karkat's face hot, "Stop it you annoying fuck."

John shook his head slightly and smiled, "So why are you up so late?"  
This seemed like a redundant question to Karkat but he answered anyways, "Gamzee was having problems with his quadrants." Karkat sighed and tried to think of who filled his quadrants. The answer was none besides that moron named Gamzee.

John sat forward in his chair like he wanted more information on the subject so Karkat kept going, "He wants Tavros as a matesprite and I just sent the moron over there. I mean honestly, how would he live on without me?" Karkat groaned angrily, in a non-conceded way.

"So," John started out slowly, "Like how you wanted me to be your kismasis?"

"Shut your mouth Egbert." Karkat snapped. John smiled smoothly resting his derpy head on his palm looking right into Karkat's eyes, "I mean, do you still feel like what?"

Karkat was at a loss of words so John continued, "You told me there were no feelings but obviously you still feel the same. Your blushing."

Karkat smacked his hand over his webcam and used his other clawed hand to cover his face in preparation for the blush that was soon to follow, "John you're really starting to piss me off! There are no feelings!"

John could still see karkat through the poorly covered screen, "Karkat…" He taunted, "Karkat." He said a little louder, "What is a kismasis?"

"You've already been told, now drop it!" Karkat snapped.

John pushed up his glasses leaning back in his seat, "I mean, I guess I know what they are, but what do they do?"

Karkat slowly uncovered both the webcam and his reddened face. He could never resist showing off his intelligence, even more so to people of lesser brains, "They hate John. Hey have a relationship solely based on hate. And…they're attracted to each other." Karkat didn't make eye contact with John in fear he would be making a stupid face.

"I'll be your Kismises or whatever theyre called." John spurted out. Karkat shook his head, No no. Good night John." He went to click the hang up button when John make him stop in his tracks, "Or matesprite!"

Karkat widened his eyes frightfully and focused them on John. John froze up only for a second feeling timid, "Well I mean, what to lose? We don't even live on the same planet so we can't really pressure each other. And when we do see each other in real life it'll be like a pre-started romance! Like in one of your ridicules named movies!"

"Romcoms." Karkat corrected him.

"Okay Karkat, like in one of your romcoms. Please, just give me a chance." John tried to look cute while peering at Karkat through his thickly framed glasses.

Karkat thought about Gamzee and how happy he was probly kissing up on Tavros while he sat alone at his house. He wouldn't get physical contact like you do in a normal relationship. Of course, Karkat started to think, I don't like physical contact very much so this might be ok, "Alright John human." Karkat crossed his arms trying to look intimidating, "We will try being matesprits. But If I don't find you to my liking, I will end you."

John just laughed and smiled brightly at Karkat, "Alright buddy, well I'll talk to you tomorrow." Karkat nodded giving John permission to leave. John soon dissepeared off of Karkats screen and his heart started fluttering. Karkat felt himself get weak as he laid his hand on his overly excited chest. His face brightened and his closed his eyes, "Stop this Karkat. Get a grip of yourself. You hate the John flesh bag. Your just doing this for fun." Karkat scolded his body like it had control over itself. He had never once felt this before. But he wasn't stupid. He knew what is was.

Right before Karkat closed his crab top he heard a similar bing to earlier. When he saw that he had a message from John he clicked on their previous chat.

John: Hey Karkat

Karkat: WHAT FUCK ASS

John: So were matesprits?

Karkat: YES ASS FACE. THAT IS WHAT YOU JUST AGREED TO AND ITS TOO LATE TO SAY NO.

John: I don't want to say no Karkat.

Karkat: SHUT UP

John: Hey Karkat?  
Karkat: YES

John: Dating an alien #YOLO!


End file.
